In an effort to avoid the answer to that big question, I have chosen the good ‘ole “making excuses” route. Starting a blog is something I have felt called to for awhile now. I mean, years. And for years I have blatantly said no. I have told God and myself that I can’t write publicly because I’m too busy doing other “good” things. But what I was refusing to acknowledge was that God was calling me to something new and different, and while a good chunk of my heart longed to do it, a good chunk of my brain told me that I couldn’t. And the excuses started flowing. In no particular order, here are some of the excuses that have set up camp in my mind the past few years:
I don’t really have the theological or educational background to write something solid. I should let smarter, more qualified people handle things like this.
My past isn’t perfect, and if people from my past read it, they’ll just shake their heads. I forfeited the opportunity to do something like this years ago.
It feels like everyone has a blog, so what is the point of adding my voice to a ton of other voices that are already out there? Do I really have something to share that isn’t already being said?
I have been busy with other ministry-related things that I deem more important, so this whole writing thing will have to go on the backburner.
I have done anything and everything to avoid this very thing. And yet, in the midst of the fear and excuse-making, there is a certainty and peace that I can’t quite explain. I know that God has called me to give this a try. And I’m pretty tired of fighting it. I don’t know exactly what this is supposed to look like, or what purpose God has for it, but today I am choosing to step out in faith and find out. Because I'm discovering that sometimes, it's important to be faithful, even with our fears.
My desire is that reading this will give people hope, inspiration, encouragement, and an assurance that we are not in this alone. My promise is to be authentic. I don’t intend to sugar coat life by any means. I’m going to have bad days, and I plan on writing about them. I’m going to have good days, and I plan on writing about those, too. I believe that God is present in the good and bad days, the mountain top experiences and the random, mundane Tuesdays. My prayer is that we would be aware of God’s presence in all circumstances, and that it would change the way we do life.
So, here’s to taking this leap of faith. Here’s to finally saying yes to God. I am resting in the fact that no matter what comes, I am loved and valued beyond measure, and nothing, not even failing in this, will change that. Let’s see what God has in store.